Out There..

This fall has been has brought change and  adventures for most of us, hasn’t it? As for me….

I let go of my part-time teaching job.  I let go of my youngest daughter, to a college campus far away.

I started a new job in car sales, and….

I committed to selling my clay work with my former student, Merita,  at the Chattanooga Market.

Now,
Every day,

I put myself out there.

Just me.

Not me as a mom, surrounded by kids. Not me sequestered in my studio, working the clay. Not me as a well-educated instructor.

Just my appearance, and my wits, and my training.
Its not a pretty sight.
I’m chubby, I’m goofy, I forget what to say next and so I say something off the wall. I grin like an idiot while people tell me to go away, or lie to me to impress me. I don’t have any hard edges.
I am, however, happy to report that I am developing a nice thick skin.
I don’t know if this is correct procedure or not, but every day I let myself feel the frustration and self-loathing of all the dumb things I did and important things I forgot, And when I wake up in the morning, I actively kick all that out of my head, and I believe that today will be great, that I will nail the process, that I am the best at what I do. Even if I have to roll my eyes a little at the last one.

I plunge out there again, all in.

Sunday, I sold some of my work.  And even though I didn’t feel like getting up and doing this….I have to admit.  I enjoyed talking to people about my work, and collecting their emails so we can keep in touch, and having them ask if I would be there next week.  That felt…really encouraging, and motivating. Maybe selling my work isn’t so bad.

firstbooth

Yesterday at work I met this sweet couple who needed  a vehicle that he could get in and out of easily and would hold their kids and the wheelchair and a stroller or two.   They were so excited with the Jeep Commander!  They didn’t seem to mind that I typed the name of their street wrong or almost forgot their drive-out tag.

IMAG0052

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About genieearle

I make things in my tiny studio called Claywise, as I try to understand the world I live in, and what it means to be human. I have 4 amazing offspring who are making their own paths, and I am currently an outpatient counselor at a drug and alcohol rehab center, where we do expressive arts in group therapy. View all posts by genieearle

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